Sex and the BDSM lifestyle

There seems to be allot of folks that seem to think that Sex is not only part of the D/s  equation but REQUIRED  of a submissive. That "to be my sub you must give me free domain over all of you including and especially your genitals".  Throughout the online communities I see this attitude of sexual "ownership". Granted, sex and sexual based play is a valid and negotiated form of play and I myself have included it into some of my scenes.
I have written in my Fetlife blog about what the term "Master" means : https://fetlife.com/users/39790/posts/131733
Separating the Sexual from the Sensual is a feat of self control. Self control is at the core of mastery.If a Dom / Domma can not separate the sexual from the providing sensual stimulations then perhaps there is a control issue. I am not saying this is a catchall statement but there are many times when D/s is used to gain sexual access.  The ass may be sweet and I may get a thrill from spanking it ... that dose not mean I have free reign to cum in it.
The real problem comes when sex is seen as a required component of D/s. Even more troubling are the numbers of "doms" that see D/s as a cart blanch to act like entitled, male, chauvinistic, pigs. The ones that are really looking to get laid and think that "sub girls are easy" They are predators in Doms clothing. They do not understand that D/s is a form of power exchange. That Doms are given power to use in a specific  agreed upon way and it is not JUST to serve the Doms base desire.
In all circuits there is a positive to negitive route. The energy in the form of electricity flows from the + through the circuit to the - poll.  In D/s  the submissive (+)  provides the power in the form of consent (C)  that is use in the circuit in the form of the Scene (S).  The return of consent in the form of action and the resulting Purpose of the Scene (SP) (and lets face it whether it is a flogging , candling or humiliation play the purpose of a scene is the fulfillment of the D/s exchange) completes the circuit forming a resonant Amplification.
At some point I will write a blog on the "schematics of play" and develop that line further but this is were it becomes a tangent here so back to my point.
If there is no connection in the process above or if the Dom "shorts out" the process by not testing the connections before moving to the physical then they risk getting "shocked".
If you are a Dom and not a predatory pervert you are capable of having a scene with someone that you may connect with but not find sexually attractive.  A Dominant can even do a forced orgasm scene with someone they find attractive and not have personal expectations of getting off themselves. The point is that just because the yummy pain is being applied to yummy parts doesn't necessarily mean you are having sex or have the consent to demand it.
And to those Boys out there that think that kink girls are easy and calling yourself a "Dom" will grant you access to some Porn Promised Land, D/s is like any other form of relationship in that it requires mutual trust and respect , even more so considering what we do. Kink Girls have discovered what they want and how to get it. A hard cock is easy to come by. A hard cock with a good man attached is not.  Grow the fuck up and develop a personality worth fucking.