The Uncomfortable Truth About 50 Shades

The Uncomfortable Truth About 50 Shades

On Friday I went to go see 50 Shades of Grey with Sharon. I went not only because in order to form a a real opinion I'd have to see it for myself but as a member of the film community where it was made I wanted to support my fellows. Face it, no matter what  schlock the film is someone fed their kids by working on it.
It seems everyone is sharing their opinion on this film. They are telling people the  “truth” about Christian Grey and his “dominance”.  The reality of the bad portrayal of BDSM. The abuse, the lack or violation of consent, the predation all are valid assessments of the story being told.
The story being told when looked at in the cold light of day is a “fantasy love story” of a sexual sadist continuing a cycle of child abuse with an immature and possibly infantilized woman. Although the tools and terms of the BDSM lifestyle are used the philosophy is totally absent.
No, this is not a BDSM story any more than John Wayne Gacey’s biography is a Clown story.

50 Shades is not BDSM. It's not relationship advise. It's not literary genius.  Its fan fiction. It's sexual cartoons for soccer moms. It's a high polished Rocky Horror Fetish Show. when Grey tells Anna she gets “me” for her submission, I had to keep from shouting “ what's second prize?”.  A move that would most likely result in a mini van draw and quartering in the cinema parking lot.

 The film making is good on a technical level. It's lit,shot, and cut well.  Jamie Dorhnan’s (sp) Christian Grey is a poor portrayal of a dominant but a great portrayal  of a damaged man stuck as the sexually abused teen acting out the abuse cycle. On that level his performance is nuanced. If we come looking for our personal archetype of what a “Dominant” is then we will be disappointed, hypercritical, and offended to the point of missing the real flawed character being played.
If this is a character development story then the beginning characters will be noticeably flawed sick, and even “evil”. If there is one thing I have noticed about James’ writing is that it is not particularly mature or subtle as a writer. Both the Grey and Steel characters are a bit of a caricature of their rolls as lothario and school girl.

There is legitimate criticism about the depiction of bondage and discipline in both the book and the movie. The use of cable ties for restraint , for example, shows a significant lack of research on the part of the author as any restraint less than a minimal width of 1.5 inch (depending on the size of the person) can and will cause damage to the nerves vessels and carpel tunnel when the captive starts to struggle. The police use the restraints as a short term mass event basis only.
There is a deep seated fear in the BDSM community that the portrayal of the lifestyle will harm and lead to the vilification of a beloved practice. It is VERY easy to mis what is happening below the surface of any relationship but especially when the actions look like abuse. When Eyes Wide Shut came out the swing community went through much of the same “that's not how it is”  uproar. The end result though was a normalizing of the topic. Same with Boys Don't Cry. It normalized the topic and awareness of transgender and fostered discussions. Now we are seeing this film foster some great discussions and awareness of not only BDSM but the nature and necessity of consent.
There is something to consider in filmmaking that affects the portrayal of anything. Directors look to the visual. “How dos it play” to camera. The gun expert may say “ holding the gun sideways isn’t right, it affects accuracy, controls and can damage the hand on recoil”. But the director may insist in it looking “cool” for camera.
In 50 Shades there are a couple glaring moments of bad play. What appears to be a slip knot capable of cutting off circulation is used to tie wrists. A crop traces nipples but is then brought down over the diaphragm opting of a more organ dangerous strike than a audience wincing sexual slap on the nipples. A heavier flogger is used on the abdomen a danger to internal organs. I have to believe that these things played better for camera than what the technical advisor suggested. So before condemning the technical advisor as an idiot or an amateur consider that they were an ADVISOR and not the final word. Since there were reshoots in the play room (being in the industry you hear things) I'm fairly sure the scenes were shot correctly but seemed to harsh or intense.  The reality of film making is you rely on the audiences “suspension of disbelief”. Something I think they may have over estimated in this case.

The uncomfortable truth about 50 Shades of Grey is that, it is nothing more than an alpha male “take me now” bad boy fantasy that despite the women's movement still resonates with a large number of women and girls.  Power based fantasy is common in sexuality. The part that make us squirm is the underlaying dichotomy of reconciling  our darker and less “honorable” desires and fantasies with the ideals of consent, equality, and rejection of violence against woman.  We are not comfortable accepting that people have fantasies that in real life are deeply unhealthy and disturbing. We have a really hard time accepting that another's reaction to spanking, being controlled, fear, or lain may be sexual excitement. We have a tendency to judge others by our own tastes and as incapable of separating fantasy from reality. Not all kids will drop safes on their siblings heads after watching the road runner but those that do have more issues than just the fantasy they like to watch. 50 Shades may be written like an eighth grade crush diary and be yet another soccer mom  alpha male power exchange fantasy. The uncomfortable truth is that it holds a mirror up to ourselves and makes us look at unspoken dark aspects and desires in society. It may not be a great film … Hell it may not even be a good film , but it is an important film.

I have not bloged here in quite a while. Mostly , this is for personal reasons. Work, home life, life in general have been taking up most of my time. I have considered just taking this blog down entirely. After all "use it or loose it " right?
Today I recieved a message from the owners of Blogger.
"Dear Blogger User,

We're writing to tell you about an upcoming change to the Blogger Content Policy that may affect your account.

In the coming weeks, we'll no longer allow blogs that contain sexually explicit or graphic nude images or video. We'll still allow nudity presented in artistic, educational, documentary or scientific contexts, or where there are other substantial benefits to the public from not taking action on the content.

The new policy will take effect on 23 March 2015. After this policy comes into force, Google will restrict access to any blog identified as being in violation of our revised policy. No content will be deleted, but only blog authors and those with whom they have expressly shared the blog will be able to see the content that we've made private.

Our records indicate that your account may be affected by this policy change. Please refrain from creating new content that would violate this policy. We would also ask you to make any necessary changes to your existing blog to comply as soon as possible so that you won't experience any interruptions in service. You may also choose to create an archive of your content via Google Takeout (https://www.google.com/settings/takeout/custom/blogger).

For more information, please look here (https://support.google.com/blogger?p=policy_update).

Yours sincerely,
The Blogger Team

(c) 2015 Google Inc. 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View, CA 94043, USA"

They will not allow "sexualy explicit" pictures or videos but will allow " artistic , educational, and scientific" nudity. Sounds mighty vague. Who's to say the image of a hand job isn't

Educational if the goal is teaching better sexual technique? Is the print from the karma sutra ok but the Pic of a CBT tie is " sexualy graphic". It seems a license for Censorship. 

I also have to question why I recieved this notice. I do not recall posting pics with the blogs on leather and BDSM. I did mark the blog with adult content because kids bent need to stumble across things like crosses, whips, and leather..... Well outside of Sunday school.  so just like other adult spaces like the pup and the club this is marked as "adult". After all I don't want to be the cause of little jimmy asking his mom " what's cock and ball torture"? I can only guess the message was a mass mailing to all "adult content" marked blogs. 

I will be watching for further restrictions of content I the future as Net Nutrality is being sold off to the cable and ISO providers . I am sure to limit liability they will homogenize ans sanitize the content available and pressure larger providers like Google to restock adult content. 

In the end it's their sandbox they get to say what sand is acceptable. Welcome to the new order.