The Uncomfortable Truth About 50 Shades

The Uncomfortable Truth About 50 Shades

On Friday I went to go see 50 Shades of Grey with Sharon. I went not only because in order to form a a real opinion I'd have to see it for myself but as a member of the film community where it was made I wanted to support my fellows. Face it, no matter what  schlock the film is someone fed their kids by working on it.
It seems everyone is sharing their opinion on this film. They are telling people the  “truth” about Christian Grey and his “dominance”.  The reality of the bad portrayal of BDSM. The abuse, the lack or violation of consent, the predation all are valid assessments of the story being told.
The story being told when looked at in the cold light of day is a “fantasy love story” of a sexual sadist continuing a cycle of child abuse with an immature and possibly infantilized woman. Although the tools and terms of the BDSM lifestyle are used the philosophy is totally absent.
No, this is not a BDSM story any more than John Wayne Gacey’s biography is a Clown story.

50 Shades is not BDSM. It's not relationship advise. It's not literary genius.  Its fan fiction. It's sexual cartoons for soccer moms. It's a high polished Rocky Horror Fetish Show. when Grey tells Anna she gets “me” for her submission, I had to keep from shouting “ what's second prize?”.  A move that would most likely result in a mini van draw and quartering in the cinema parking lot.

 The film making is good on a technical level. It's lit,shot, and cut well.  Jamie Dorhnan’s (sp) Christian Grey is a poor portrayal of a dominant but a great portrayal  of a damaged man stuck as the sexually abused teen acting out the abuse cycle. On that level his performance is nuanced. If we come looking for our personal archetype of what a “Dominant” is then we will be disappointed, hypercritical, and offended to the point of missing the real flawed character being played.
If this is a character development story then the beginning characters will be noticeably flawed sick, and even “evil”. If there is one thing I have noticed about James’ writing is that it is not particularly mature or subtle as a writer. Both the Grey and Steel characters are a bit of a caricature of their rolls as lothario and school girl.

There is legitimate criticism about the depiction of bondage and discipline in both the book and the movie. The use of cable ties for restraint , for example, shows a significant lack of research on the part of the author as any restraint less than a minimal width of 1.5 inch (depending on the size of the person) can and will cause damage to the nerves vessels and carpel tunnel when the captive starts to struggle. The police use the restraints as a short term mass event basis only.
There is a deep seated fear in the BDSM community that the portrayal of the lifestyle will harm and lead to the vilification of a beloved practice. It is VERY easy to mis what is happening below the surface of any relationship but especially when the actions look like abuse. When Eyes Wide Shut came out the swing community went through much of the same “that's not how it is”  uproar. The end result though was a normalizing of the topic. Same with Boys Don't Cry. It normalized the topic and awareness of transgender and fostered discussions. Now we are seeing this film foster some great discussions and awareness of not only BDSM but the nature and necessity of consent.
There is something to consider in filmmaking that affects the portrayal of anything. Directors look to the visual. “How dos it play” to camera. The gun expert may say “ holding the gun sideways isn’t right, it affects accuracy, controls and can damage the hand on recoil”. But the director may insist in it looking “cool” for camera.
In 50 Shades there are a couple glaring moments of bad play. What appears to be a slip knot capable of cutting off circulation is used to tie wrists. A crop traces nipples but is then brought down over the diaphragm opting of a more organ dangerous strike than a audience wincing sexual slap on the nipples. A heavier flogger is used on the abdomen a danger to internal organs. I have to believe that these things played better for camera than what the technical advisor suggested. So before condemning the technical advisor as an idiot or an amateur consider that they were an ADVISOR and not the final word. Since there were reshoots in the play room (being in the industry you hear things) I'm fairly sure the scenes were shot correctly but seemed to harsh or intense.  The reality of film making is you rely on the audiences “suspension of disbelief”. Something I think they may have over estimated in this case.

The uncomfortable truth about 50 Shades of Grey is that, it is nothing more than an alpha male “take me now” bad boy fantasy that despite the women's movement still resonates with a large number of women and girls.  Power based fantasy is common in sexuality. The part that make us squirm is the underlaying dichotomy of reconciling  our darker and less “honorable” desires and fantasies with the ideals of consent, equality, and rejection of violence against woman.  We are not comfortable accepting that people have fantasies that in real life are deeply unhealthy and disturbing. We have a really hard time accepting that another's reaction to spanking, being controlled, fear, or lain may be sexual excitement. We have a tendency to judge others by our own tastes and as incapable of separating fantasy from reality. Not all kids will drop safes on their siblings heads after watching the road runner but those that do have more issues than just the fantasy they like to watch. 50 Shades may be written like an eighth grade crush diary and be yet another soccer mom  alpha male power exchange fantasy. The uncomfortable truth is that it holds a mirror up to ourselves and makes us look at unspoken dark aspects and desires in society. It may not be a great film … Hell it may not even be a good film , but it is an important film.